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Below is a compilation of all the best free chat lines and party lines in the US and Canada.

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Remember the cliché of the man in the middle of a mid-life crisis – trading the Honda in for a Porsche and the wife for a younger model?Now, thanks to online dating, so-called ‘mutually beneficial’ relationships have never been easier to come by.

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Riccardo G.’s profile on Couch Surfing.com, the website that partners intrepid wanderers with willing hosts, notes that he lives in the “best neighborhood to go out and have drinks,” that he offers a “cozy/clean/nice sofa/couch” and that he’ll even let you bring your “small dog, if you just can’t live without him.” He describes himself as “amazing, outgoing, funny, smart” and says his interests include friends, eating, drinking, the gym and puppies.

I signed up to where ‘the classy, attractive and affluent meet’.

London Honey77 seemed like as good a profile name as any, given that I can rarely be bothered to travel outside of the M25 for a date (not even for bags of gold) and I’d imagine it was ‘honey’ (ahem) most men were looking for.

Here’s what I wrote on my profile – ‘I am a positive, fun-loving girl from London looking to meet somebody for good times, interesting conversation and plenty of fun.

‘I’m open-minded and non-judgmental so have no issue with somebody who might have other commitments, what is important to me is that when we are together the time we share is inspiring and fun-filled!